Friday, November 6, 2009

Do you want the whole story??

KLOVE is doing this promotion right now for some such prize or another. Truth be told, I got distracted by the thoughts and emotions and didn't really hear what the prize was. Basically, they want people to write in about the person who shared Christ with them the first time.

I'm still trying to sort all of that out.

You see, the man who shared Christ with my family the first time was the Baptist preacher here in Small Town, Texas. A man I both admired and respected a great deal. A man who laid the foundation for my salvation and my convictions. A man who led me to Christ, baptized me, taught me most of what I needed, and always had time for a question or twelve. I've never heard anyone preach like he did. He could MOVE you, y'all. And a man who knew Jesus as much as any one person could know Jesus.

But, he was also a man who committed suicide at the beginning of this year.

I wont lie: I've been shaken by it. It's been almost a year, and I'm still trying to work it all out. God's still trying to convince me that it doesn't change a single thing. I'm still trying to figure out how to put trust in people without putting my faith in them, but in God.

I serve a mighty and powerful God. But, I am not mighty, nor powerful. My God sees the end from the beginning. I just see what's happened till now. I'm confused, hurt, and angry. But, I am a child of The King. Of that I have no doubts.

This has been a year of realizing that people are not worthy of my faith. People, no matter how great they are, will always let me down. It's just who they are. They are fallible, flawed sinners just like me. For me to expect people to be above reproach in all areas, at all times, is only setting myself up for disappointment and hurt. People screw up. People hurt. People hurt others. People forget your birthday, or they say rude things, or they sleep with your husband. People are not able to complete anyone. They cannot. They should not. Asking them to isn't fair to them, or to you.

Instead, God will complete me. He has never forgotten me, because he made me. He doesn't get irritated with my faults, because he died for me. He will never hurt me, and He will never let me down, because He loves me. He loves me because He is love.

I'm still working through all the logistics of knowing He will never leave me vs. believing I am worth sticking around for.

I'm pretty sure my story wouldn't win any prizes from KLOVE. Thankfully, whatever they're giving away is less than nothing compared to the prize I've already received.

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